Holy Story Prompts, Batman!
by Drindalis
Summary: In which I fulfill Batfamily related prompts for you guys to make up for being lazy and not updating my stories in awhile. Leave a review with a prompt and I'll do my best. ;) Enjoy.
1. InDaHood

DJG: Yes, I'm aware I need to focus on the stories I already have, but…le sigh. I was hoping to get the next chapter of Who Could Guess? out by Christmas, but unless I type as fast as a speeding bullet it's not going to happen. :/ But since I love you guys and wanted to give you something for Christmas, I decided to do this Batfamily drabble thing. Basically, review me a prompt and I'll give you a holiday drabble about the character/prompt of your choice. Merry Christmas. XD

Muse: The rules are pretty simple. For now, one prompt per person. As funny as it would be…making her write like, 30 chapters at once would break her. And then you'd never know how WCG will end. Chapters will be like, 300 words and up. Depends on how 4W350M3 of a prompt it is. The chapters will be the username of the person who requested it so if you don't like other people you can ignore their stuff. Anything else?

DJG: I dunno. I'm not really good with villains, so sticking to Batfamily would make me happy, but then again, it's their Christmas gift. *shrug* Bring it ON! *pulls out keyboard and pencil*

Muse: This is InDaHood's prompt, so yaysies for her! She requested Jason and Damian interacting, with beating up people, eating cookies, and crossdressing. This one's a doozy.

* * *

"This is, without a doubt, the most outrageous thing I have ever done." Damian droned, glaring at the frilly red dress he was wearing with much distaste, itching his short dark wig irritably.

"Shut up!" Jason snapped, smacking him on the back of the head. "As stupid as these disguises are, it's still a mission. If we screw it up, Bruce'll have our asses." His rant would've been more threatening if Jason's fingernails didn't have swirly snowflakes on them to match the ice blue of the dress _his _disguise consisted of.

Yes, it was true, the two most badass and tough Batboys had been powdered, shaved, and shoved into dresses (courtesy of Dick, who just _happened _to have some on hand) for the good of the Mission. When Jason and Damian had finally been untied and had escaped from Stephanie, Cass, Tim, and Dick…that was when the awkward part happened.

Bruce still had to explain what the 'mission' was. While Jason took his usual pose (arms and legs crossed, leaning against something and looking away, which was ruined completely by the long blond wig, evening gown, and heels) Damian seethed, face almost as red as his dress.

"Father, is there a _good reason_ why Brown or Cain cannot go in our places? Why must we degrade ourselves like this?" he hissed.

Bruce blinked. "Yes, there is. Stephanie and Cass are going to a different ball on the other side of town, along with their dates, Tim and Dick."

Jason's head snapped around. "Dates? Why couldn't I be Steph's date and Tim be the cross dresser?"

Bruce frowned. "Because Tim's identity is currently _living_, unlike yours. As far as the media knows, Jason Todd is dead. So if Bruce Wayne's son is caught cross dressing in public, it'll look bad."

Jason looked about ready to breathe fire. "Bruce Wayne's _other son _is cross dressing in public."

Bruce nodded. "And if you're caught, Damian will claim you're a kidnapper into Lolita boys and he was forced into it."

Alfred, who had been watching from the corner, excused himself to go have a laughing fit while Jason tried to set Bruce on fire with his glare alone. Damian glowered.

"Father. I better be well compensated for this!"

Bruce gave his youngest a look. "Oh? What kind of compensation did you have in mind?"

Damian's face turned sour. "I demand full rights to at least four batches of Pennyworth's Christmas cookies. The ones with the frosting. And the sprinkles."

Jason snorted. "If you're getting four, I'm getting five! This is fuckin' ridiculous!"

Damian's pout was only accented by the dark lipstick. "Todd, you get nothing! You act like a female all the time, how is looking the part any different?"

Jason slapped him across the face. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you."

Damian slapped him back, face twisted into a snarl. "Don't tell me what to do, Todd!"

With that, they began to attack each other, heels, jewelry, and Damian's wig flying.

Alfred abruptly intervened, stepping between them with a tray of cookies. "Ahem. I suggest if you two wish for any treats, you hurry up and do as Master Bruce requests. I'll get to baking so that there are plenty when you return."

Grumbling, both boys grabbed a cookie and hobbled towards the car, heels clicking awkwardly.

"I'm driving, demon."

"No, _I'm_ driving! Don't you dare get in the driver's seat, Todd! TODD!"

Bruce watched them from his place by the computer. "Hm. They seem to work well together."

* * *

DJG: I hope them attacking each other counts as beating up people, I couldn't find a way to slip that in there without making it realllllly looooong. Hope you like it, InDaHood!

Muse: And now other people can prompt the crap out of her! She's on Christmas vacation, she ain't doing anything anyway!


	2. LuVySoNy

DJG: Apologies in advance for probably getting Mar'i and Lian out of character. I've never read any actual comics with them in it, so I'm going by guesses and fan fiction knowledge.

Muse: This prompt came via LuVySoNy, who asked for Uncle!Jay action with Mar'i and Lian. Also, if you see any Mar'I going on instead of Mar'i, please contain the hate. My computer automatically makes all lowercase i's that are by themselves capital, so I have to go back and fix them all. Sorry if a couple slip by!

* * *

How did he always get roped into this shit?

"They appear to be from another universe. This one," Bruce had gestured to the little girl with short black hair and green eyes, "Is Lian, the daughter of Roy Harper and Jade Nguyen."

Jason fake vomited. "Ew! Harper and…Cheshire? _Seriously?"_

Bruce continued talking as if he hadn't heard him. "And this is Mar'i, the daughter of Dick and the alien Koriand'r from another wor-"

"The other Dick finally got busy with Starfire? At least the one from that universe had some balls!"

"_Jason. Children." _Bruce snapped as he covered the girls' ears, patience wearing thin.

The rogue Robin sighed. "Right, fine, whatever. And you want me to _babysit them? _Why not, you know, have the fathers do it?!"

Bruce gave both girls a nudge in his direction. "Because it could ruin the time stream if Roy or Dick were to come in contact with them. They could be from this universe's future."

Mar'i seemed to be about seven, while Lian looked five or so. Both watched him with large, innocent eyes.

Jason shot Bruce a pained look. "And I have to do it because…?"

The older man simply glared.

"Ugh, fine! Come on you two." Jason stormed out of the Batcave, hearing little footsteps following him somewhat hesitantly.

They followed him up the stairs, out of the clock entrance, and into the Manor's parlor. Jason stopped suddenly, turning and giving them a stare. "So…what do little girls do?"

Mar'i gave him a blank stare while Lian simply gave him a face. "You're not too good at this, are you?" she asked, as brash and blunt as her father.

Jason resisted the urge to curse. '_Kids, remember? No cussing, it's bad.' _he thought to himself. "That obvious?" he finally asked.

Mar'i nodded. "Indeed it is, human. Besides, shouldn't you have offspring of your own by now?"

Jason sneered, even though outwardly he was impressed at the half alien's vocabulary for her age. Then what she said sunk in. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, crouching down to their level.

Lian suddenly reached out and punched him in the nose. "TAG, YOU'RE IT!" she shrieked, before darting away with an excited giggle even as Jason grabbed his nose in surprise. Mar'i gasped in delight, taking to the air and flying in the opposite direction.

"Ow! Get back here you little-!"

"I'm not little! I'm a big girl now! My daddy said so!" Lian replied smugly from her perch on the kitchen counter. How had she…? Never mind. Jason quickly scooped her up, to which Lian reacted by throwing her head back and screaming bloody murder.

Mar'i poked her head out of the closet she was hiding in and starting screaming as well, matching pitch with Lian much to Jason's disdain. Suddenly, Lian's eyes fell on a tea set tucked away in the corner. Her eyes lit up and she began to tug on the patch of white in Jason's hair.

"Mister Babysitter! Can we play tea party? Pleeeeeeeease?" she asked, sticking out her lower lip. Mar'i nodded excitedly.

"Yes, can we?"

"Pretty please?"

"Pretty please with lumps of the sugar on top?"

"Pretty please with sugar lumps, sprinkles, an' a cherry on top?"

Jason cut them off. "Okay, okay, fine! But if you break that tea set, Alfred will kill you."

Neither one seemed bothered by that.

When Bruce came up the stairs later, he discovered Jason wearing a large brimmed sunhat, sitting cross legged at an end table with Mar'i, Lian, and several stuffed animals.

"More tea, sir?" Mar'i asked in a British accent, holding the teapot.

"Of course, Miss Mar'i. That would be lovely." Jason responded in a similar over-exaggerated voice, holding the teacup handle with his pinkie sticking out. Apparently he was unaware he was being watched.

"More for me too!" Lian said, pushing her cup towards the older girl. In her haste, she tipped it over, spilling hot tea all over Jason's lap. He gritted his teeth, hissing and his eyes twitching violently as he spoke.

"Maybe Miss Lian should have _cold milk _instead."

Lian bit her lip. "Oops. Wait, we can hide it! See?" She pulled a purple tutu out a box of female toys Alfred had somehow provided. "Here, stand up Mister Jay!"

Jason face palmed. "I told you not to call me that!" he complained. "It's Jason. JA-SON."

As Lian tied the tutu around his waist, she frowned. "Then how come my daddy calls you Jaybird?"

At Jason's incredulous expression, Bruce backed out of the doorway, face covered as he tried not to laugh. _'And so it begins.'_

* * *

DJG: Hope you liked this one! I know Mar'i didn't have many lines, but…eh. Lian's antics hopefully make up for it.

Muse: I'm sure Uncle Jay is excited to have made his debut.

Uncle Jay: *seethes* I'm jumping for joy.

DJG: Also, seriously, don't be afraid to prompt me. No prompts means no update. So…yeah. Sad face. I promise I don't bite! I've got all my shots and everything! XD


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